Apologies
by thefourteenthdarkone
Summary: (AU for chapter 443/444)Someone brought up Aquarius when Team Natsu was dropped in water, and Natsu's feeling guilty all over again. Who's apologizing to who, here?


**So, my first attempt at writing Nalu! Sort of AUish, like what would have happened had Aquarius been brought up while they were in the water?**

Lucy Heartfilia leaned against the wooden railing of the ship, watching Caracall Island fade away into the horizon.

Or where Caracall Island used to be, anyway, before Lady Brandish had completely shrunk it. Lucy shuddered, remembering the ease with which the unfamiliar but obviously powerful-beyond-measure woman had completely destroyed an entire landmass. She and her friends had nearly drowned, along with the _entire population_ of the island. And they had all been dumped in the ocean...a pang of regret and remembrance shot through the blonde. It wasn't her friends' fault, really, she hadn't said anything before they all left…

 _Lucy, summon Aquarius! She can probably get us back to shore or to another island- uh, Lucy?_

 _I...can't…_

 _Lucy?_

Grey had ended up saving them by freezing over the water, and none of the Fairy Tail mages nor the Caracall residents had been injured. Currently they were all on the boats of passing fishermen, who were carrying the various people to shore. Lady Brandish's threat concerning Makarov hung heavy in the air, and made it almost certain that he had indeed been taken into Alvarez's custody.

 _Hey, Lucy, your eyes are tearing up! You okay?_

 _Of course she's not okay, idiot, she's crying!_

 _Shut up, Ice Princess, I know that!_

 _Quiet, both of you! Lucy...did something happen to Aquarius?_

If only they hadn't been trapped in water...her friends had all been horrified when they found out, and there had been many why-didn't-you-tell-us!?s and hugs and tears (mostly from Wendy). Natsu had declared that he was going to find that Eclipse Gate and jump back into the past and murder Mard Geer and Jackal another twenty times, and though it hasn't helped much, she had laughed a little at his fervent declaration.

Actually...it hadn't been very fervent. In fact, the announcement seemed to be lacking the Dragonslayer's usual firey temper, and it was fairly obvious that he was only running about and shrieking about revenge at the top of his lungs for her sake.

As if her thoughts had summoned him, as soon as she finished that particular thought Natsu came walking up the ship's deck with his hands in his pockets. He had restored his checkered scarf to its usual spot around the neck, and it nearly blew into her face as he took a place right next to her on the railing, looking at the open ocean. Lucy was somewhat impressed. Erza had decided she needed 'alone time' as soon as the Celestial Spirit Mage had headed for the back of the ship, and Natsu must have just took the risk of sneaking past their red-headed teammate to be here. Knowing Erza, that had been no easy task indeed, and one that heralded immediate punishment with steel. She was an incredibly loyal friend, but her methods were often over-the-top. Quite unfortunate for Natsu and Grey, that part was.

Natsu's first words surprised her. "You really were alone, weren't you, after I left and Fairy Tail disbanded." he said, shifting his hands around in his pockets. It wasn't a question, because not only was it obvious but Natsu just knew her that well. The sentence itself, however, not only surprised Lucy because he had said something that could potentially make her sad (which Natsu avoided doing whenever possible), but he had acknowledged, with his own mouth, that he had left her.

Lucy didn't know how she felt about his disappearance, even after thinking about it for an entire year and the few weeks he had been back. Sure, he had left only her a note, but it had been a note saying he was gone sitting on her couch and not the Dragonslayer himself.

Maybe it would have been better if he had given her a chance to say goodbye, but knowing Natsu, that probably would have ruined his resolved of leaving, and she wouldn't have let him go anyways, if she was being truthful. She knew she would have cried, voluntarily or not, and if there was one thing Lucy had noticed, it was that Natsu **hated** it when she cried. Hell, she would have cried on purpose to stop him from going away, and it would have worked.

Until now, Natsu hadn't acknowledged his vanishing, though she herself sure had- in fact, she had made a point of bringing it up at every possible opportunity. And anyone could tell her partner felt guilty from the way his eyes averted from hers whenever she murmured anything even slightly accusatory, and yet he hadn't yet said anything back. Lucy honestly wasn't sure why she kept doing it after getting no spoken response for so long, though she suspected it stemmed partially from resentment considering this new need for his presence she had noticed appeared after she left Magnolia, one she hadn't been forced to recognize before because Natsu had always been around her.

Lucy didn't like to dwell on that idea much, however, as it led to thoughts in a territory she wasn't sure she had the time nor readiness to explore yet.

He seemed to be waiting for her to reply in the immediate present, however, but she really wasn't sure what to say, surprising as that sentence might have been. "I was sort of lonely, but I had Jason and some other friends I made working at Sorcerer Weekly." she finally answered him, still staring at the ocean.

The girl could feel Natsu's unbelieving stare directed at her, as they both knew just how much of an understatement "sort-of lonely" was. He chose not to address that particular statement of hers in his reply (which wasn't really a reply) which took even longer to come out then hers did.

"You're probably wondering why I haven't apologized."

That actually almost gave Lucy a start, because some subconscious part of her had been, especially after she saw Grey apologize to Juvia for leaving the water mage when he went on Erza's undercover mission. She remembered that Erza had seen it too, and briefly wondered if the probable apology that Natsu would give next was the red-head's doing, but quickly dismissed the thought.

Natsu didn't wait for a response this time, continuing after a pause, "And I know I owe you one, after up and leaving like that. I should have apologized right after I came back, while we were in your apartment." The Dragonslayer paused, biting his lip, seemingly unsure of how to state the next part. Lucy, unable to discern where he was going with this, asked the only question there was. "Why didn't you?

The silence, punctuated only by the waves and Wendy's laughter in the background, lasted much longer then either two previous times. Finally, Natsu's quiet response emerged. "It wasn't enough, to apologize."

She opened her mouth, but Natsu beat her to it. "You probably cried after reading the note I left you, or cried after the guild disbanded, or cried when you saw water while fighting and couldn't summon Aquarius to help you." Her silence served as confirmation. "If I had been there, you wouldn't have cried. I made you cry. How could any apology fix t _hat_?"

The Dragonslayer didn't look at her, but Lucy could tell he was _this close_ to crying in frustration, and she absolutely couldn't have that. Knowing Natsu, she had expected him to cheerfully apologize for vanishing like that and she would have accepted it, because he really did just want to get stronger to protect everyone- to protect her.

A tear slipped out of Natsu's eyes to drop onto the deck, and Lucy decided she couldn't have that. Natsu was the eternal optimist, the one that comforted her and made sure that everything was going to be okay. Flames were dulled by water, and Natsu's flames were what inspired her to keep going every time, and she couldn't just let them be put out.

"Natsu, it's alright. You've already apologized enough. It's okay now." she said, doing her best to smile at him. Instead of smiling back, her partner just bit his lip, and Lucy could tell her didn't believe. "But Lucy, I-" The blonde interrupted him before he could finish.

"That whole time, I just wanted Fairy Tail to come back together. That's why I made that chart you saw hanging in my bedroom. I even had the ability to contact more then a few of them. But I could never bring myself to, because there was always that nagging feeling that maybe they've all moved on, and _why would they want to recreate a guild that had already failed?_ " Lucy turned to look at her best friend, continuing, as he didn't seem to understand what she was getting at. "An apology is nice, but actions speak louder then words, Natsu, and you've already apologized enough through them. Happy even said- half the reason you were so enthusiastic about bringing Fairy Tail back was for _me_! Sure, I sent the letters," she was waving her arms around now, "but you were the one that inspired me to!"

Lucy's right hand slammed on top of his left one as she stared directly in his eyes, because he _had to_ understand, he _had to_ , "Yes, you left, and it hurt. But you came back just when it mattered most, and because of that we revived Fairy Tail and now we might just be in time to save Master! So you have apologized enough, " she finished, "Alright?"

Natsu stared at her for a second, shocked, because doing all that wasn't really meant to be an apology, and he still didn't really understand how that made it all okay. But if Lucy wasn't crying anymore...his fingers curled around her hand and squeezed. For all the time they had been separated they still had a mutual understanding, and that simple gesture conveyed enough as she squeezed back, a slight smile creeping onto her face.

The two simply stood there for a few minutes, fingers wrapped around each other's, watching what used to be Caracall fade into the distance.

(It would have been a lovely end, had Happy not felt the need to shoot up out of nowhere behind the two and shriek, "They _liiiiikkkkeee_ each other!" Damn cat.)

 **Please give feedback, I really appreciate knowing what people think and what I could improve on! Thanks a lot!**


End file.
